Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I STILL Goddamn Hate Best Buy!

I know, Internet. It's been a while, but the only thing that keeps me coming back is my hatred for that giant yellow tag. I said "tag," with a T; this is not about you, George Takei.

So, I was doing some shopping for other things at the Target near the Best Buy today, so I figured I'd stop in because, although I hate it, I had read that they were having a sale on assorted comedy DVDs for $5. I went in and picked up two of those (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Idiocracy if you must know, a-hole) and decided to look around.

There was a display for assorted Adult Swim DVDs on sale, so I figured I'd look since I enjoy it, but always forget to watch it. And when I say display, I mean that they were on the end of the aisle with a sign about two feet wide and one foot high above it advertising this sale. But it's fucking Best Buy, so of course things aren't always that easy. The sign said, "Save $10 on assorted Adult Swim DVDs." So I looked at the price, subtracted $10 and decided I would buy seasons 1 and 2 of Robot Chicken.

And everything turned out just great. No problems at all. Talk to you in eleven months.

You don't believe me? Good, because I was lying like the dirty whore I am.

I rushed to the counter to pay to escape with my newly-acquired, but let's-be-honest-maybe-never-to-be-watched DVDs. I reach forward and before the woman can even say hi to me, I ask her what they ring up for because it's Best Buy and they, like Good Charlotte, only exist to suck out your soul and feed it in loving, Hep-C laden spoonfuls to Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie.

"$26.99 each."

That's right. Of course they were.

"Well, there's a sign over there that says they're $10 off."

Immediately, without hesitation, the woman passed me off.

"Go show her," she said pointing to a girl I'm assuming is the manager because to be a manager at a Best Buy, you have to pencil in your eyebrows and wear a shirt that may have fit in sixth grade (I'm 1 for 2!).

I walked the woman over there and she examined the sign like she was trying to verify a lost Da Vinci painting. After a couple of minutes, she and I headed back. I WON!

We got to the counter and the other woman, non-manager, re-rang back in my items.

"Okay. $21.99."

"$21.99?" I say. "The sign didn't say..."

"Yeah. $5 each."

"But the sign didn't say buy two and save $10. It just said to save $10 on Adult Swim DVDs."

Defeated by my logic (logic, something talked about in hushed tones in the back alleys of the Double B, but rarely, if ever, actually seen in use), the manager sighed and said, "Yeah. $10 off each."

Before I paid, the woman ringing me up was training somebody, and she said to me, "Ooh, well, since we saved you so much money, you can go ahead and take our phone survey."

I almost told her that if I didn't know the incompetence that runs rampant through Best Buy like Hispanic children at Red Lobster, I would have saved zero dollars.

Instead, I paid in hot jars of urine I'd been saving in my car for such an occasion.

On the way out, the security alarm went off as I passed through and without looking back, I just yelled, "I stole all of this," and kept walking.

I wish I wasn't just awesome in my own mind.