Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Hot or not!

When I'm extremely bored sometimes I'll log on to Yahoo! chat and go there to mess around and see why society is crumbling before our very eyes. There are so many hilarious things that go on in a Yahoo! chat room I don't know where to begin. There are so many different types of people. This movie shows the many types of people that you can find in a chat room, plus it's pretty cool. Anyway, the first type of person that stands out is the guy that just comes into a room and cuts and pastes the following "19/m/714 IM me 2 hook up" over and over and over again. Okay, that's no big deal, I ignore that guy, easy. Then, ninety more of those guys show up. By the time I'm done ignoring all of those guys, the room is down to about 10 people. Next, I'd say of the remaining 10 people there are 7 Indian guys who only know the world "hello" and message things like "U are secky girl for me, y?" I like to get these messages for pure comedic value alone. I message them back gibberish just to confuse them, but it never works, they just ask for my picture.

Anyway, where I'm going with all this is here. Sometimes, along with being bored, I turn on my webcam. I turn it on because the response is hilarious. I don't think I'm "hot", in fact, I know I'm not "hot". That's not modesty, it's just the truth. But, on the Internet, for some reason, I become like ten times better looking than I actually am. I have had lots of women message me and literally tell me just how good looking I am. Like I said, I don't think I'm ugly, but by no means do I think I'm hot or even "very good looking". It's just hilarious that, in comparison to the rest of the men exposing more 10-inch penises than I ever thought was humanly possible, I'm hot.

So now, if I'm ever in need of an ego boost, I just log on to Yahoo! chat and turn on my camera and let all the gay men posing as women tell me that they think I'm good looking. Everybody knows no women actually use the Internet.

This one wasn't really that funny, but I wanted to write something, so deal with it. If you don't like it, you can go stare at some of those guy's 10-inchers.

email me suggestions to write about.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Solid. Solid as a rock.

So, like most days, I woke up with an erection today. I find it interesting that this happens so often -but it's also disturbing. I'd understand the erection if I was having a sweet sexy dream about some fine lady, but that wasn't the case last night. Last night I dreamt (like I do a lot, actually) that I had telekinetic powers. I remember me and some dorky guy (yes, guy, subconsciously maybe I'm gay, who knows?) from my a few of my classes were running from people in this hotel. At one point it was dark and we needed light so I was able to make light with my hands. What the hell is wrong with me? I also remember that we were stuck on an elevator so I used my magical powers to open the doors with only the power of my mind. Maybe I'm a subconsciously-gay Harry Potter wannabe. Now that's a story.

Anyway, back to the erection. I always find it odd waking up with an erection just because I'm wondering how long that's been like that. For all I know as soon as I go to sleep, my wiener wakes up. Maybe the lack of brain activity is a signal for all the blood up there to rush to my nether-regions and get to work. I feel so dirty. Maybe I'm pelvic-thrusting the sheets in my sleep -my cat takes a poking in a vacant orifice. Really I'm just wondering what it's doing while I'm asleep. I'm thinking about teaching it how to type so that while I'm asleep it can do my homework. How cool would that be? Sure I'd go through a lot of keyboards and the cleanup would be a pain, but I wouldn't have to worry about carpal-tunnel and MY PENIS WOULD BE TYPING!

Well, that's enough about my magical, subconsciously-gay, telekinetic, typing penis. Drop me a line for ideas or hate-mail.