Solid. Solid as a rock.

So, like most days, I woke up with an erection today. I find it interesting that this happens so often -but it's also disturbing. I'd understand the erection if I was having a sweet sexy dream about some fine lady, but that wasn't the case last night. Last night I dreamt (like I do a lot, actually) that I had telekinetic powers. I remember me and some dorky guy (yes, guy, subconsciously maybe I'm gay, who knows?) from my a few of my classes were running from people in this hotel. At one point it was dark and we needed light so I was able to make light with my hands. What the hell is wrong with me? I also remember that we were stuck on an elevator so I used my magical powers to open the doors with only the power of my mind. Maybe I'm a subconsciously-gay Harry Potter wannabe. Now that's a story.

Anyway, back to the erection. I always find it odd waking up with an erection just because I'm wondering how long that's been like that. For all I know as soon as I go to sleep, my wiener wakes up. Maybe the lack of brain activity is a signal for all the blood up there to rush to my nether-regions and get to work. I feel so dirty. Maybe I'm pelvic-thrusting the sheets in my sleep -my cat takes a poking in a vacant orifice. Really I'm just wondering what it's doing while I'm asleep. I'm thinking about teaching it how to type so that while I'm asleep it can do my homework. How cool would that be? Sure I'd go through a lot of keyboards and the cleanup would be a pain, but I wouldn't have to worry about carpal-tunnel and MY PENIS WOULD BE TYPING!

Well, that's enough about my magical, subconsciously-gay, telekinetic, typing penis. Drop me a line for ideas or hate-mail.