Monday, April 09, 2007

Supermarket Creep!

Tonight at the grocery store, while I was purchasing generic Cookie Crisp (Chip Mates), the cashier guy let his freak flag fly. I look off to the side as he starts to scan my goodies and I see this girl leaving. I take note and don't avert my gaze because she's wearing a half shirt and low-rider jeans. It's pleasant enough.

Joe Albertsons notices and this conversation happens.

You see that? Yeah. She's a regular. She comes in
here all the time.

Editor's note: Like I'm a fucking idiot and I have no idea what the hell a regular means.


Yeah. She's always wearing some half-
shirt and no bra.


It's pretty great. Those huge Double
Ds. It looks like she's horny all the time.
It's like she's smuggling 48 caliber bullets...

And he trails off while I silently scream inside my own face praying he stops talking about this before he starts jerking off with the tub of Country Crock I bought. Because that's why I bought it. It's for me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it's not butter has a smoother aftertaste and has Omega 3s. Why not get your vitamins bitch.