Thursday, March 11, 2004

My Death Wish List!

The following is all about people who need to take their own lives sometime in the near future:

People who think MadTV is hysterical (Stewart is funny, sometimes, but almost everything else sucks).
People who support anything that comes out of George W. Bush's mouth. If he said, "We should all give Kurt (that's me, the writer -- he doesn't say this part in parentheses) all of our money and lavish him with all the free boobies he wants." I'd be like, "Fuck that guy. He's an idiot." Out of pure reflex; that's how used I am to him being an over-flowing bag of douche.
People who tan more than they read (I don't read a whole lot, but I never fucking tan).
People who read my Passion of the Christ entry and think I'm going to Hell.
People who like cock-fighting (not gay people, I mean the stuff where roosters rip the shit out of each other --gay people are fine by me).
People who don't appreciate Will Ferrell.
People who use abbreviations like "lol" after everything they type online, even if it's not funny. (I'm going to school. lol. It's going to be awesome. lol. --just fucking die).
People who use 'U' instead of 'you', 'R' instead of 'are' and who type in all sorts of Tourette's Syndrome-induced sporradic caps lock usage like so: U r So GoiNg 2 HelL 4 TaWKinG aB0uT JeSuS LIkE ThaT!!!!111@
People who were offended by Janet Jackson's boob. (It's a boob. I guarantee you that people'd be much more offended if I showed my pasty, white man-boob on National Television).
People who don't always offer me sexual favors of my choosing (Goddamn Nuns).
People who think Goonies is a bad movie. (No explanation necessary, "Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyy Yooooouuuuuuuu Guuuuuuuuuys!")
People who rape other people without them asking for it (you know, by wearing sexy clothes or looking at you with "that look")
People who dislike other people for having opinions they can't help but have (fucking idiots, what's wrong with those people?)

On that ironic note, I'm done here. You've enjoyed what you've read. Email me thoughts, comments, pictures of you experimenting with your naughty self.

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