Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Stupid Ass Real World!

I've watched the Real World since it started. Sure, I'm kind of a vagina for this, but whatever, I'm over it, you should be too. Over the years it has grown more and more ridiculous, but today --today my friends it has crossed the line.

The red-headed "punk" chick, Frankie, apparently cheated on her just as faux-punk boyfriend. She couldn't stand that she cheated on him so she cut herself. "I cut myself because I deserve it," she would say to the Asian chick that goes to my school. I heard from a friend of mine at school, by the way, that the Asian chick, Jamie, is a pothead like there's no tomorrow. Whatever. I'd still let her make out with me and hump me if she wanted. Not that I'd like it; I'd just do it because she wanted to.

But I digress.

So, apparently the writers --yes, I'm convinced that the stupid show has writers now-- thought that having Frankie --if that is her real name-- coming out of the bathroom and dropping a knife conspicuously in front of Jamie, would be a good, dramatic way to reveal that she was in there cutting herself. Stupid goddamn show. If I wrote something that contrived I'd cut my fingers off so I'd be forced to dictate that to somebody else and then, while it was being said aloud, I'd realize how dumb it is and ask for one gunshot to the skull to end my life for thinking of something that horrible.

And oh. The show was prefaced and postfaced (I think that's what you call something that comes after --maybe I should have said bookended. Yeah, it was bookended) by little PSA-(Public Service Announcement) type things with Dr. Drew from Loveline saying that cutting is a serious thing and that if you do it you're a dumbass with no self-control and you should get kicked in the face by a thousand professional facekickers. I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Whenever I see him on TV I mute it and make up what he's saying like my own version of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?". So I've done that one time.

Long-story short, I fucking hate the Real World now and will never watch it again*.

*Until next week when somebody is totally maybe sleeping with somebody else. It's going to be so awesome. I need a girlfriend.

If you are like me and you bathe in your own feces or you hate the real world or you love it or you cut yourself or you like run-on sentences or you think I'm a hot piece of ass, let me know here.

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