Sunday, January 04, 2004

Murderstravaganza Weekend!

The History Channel, this weekend, decided to run a marathon of Infamous Murders for hours on end (how else do marathons go?). Aren't we giving these murderers too much credit? I mean, it's really easy to kill somebody, the hard part is not killing them. They should make a show about all the times that I restrain myself from murdering numerous people on a daily basis. The following list contains people that have escaped my murderous grasp within the last week:

*The guy, the other day when it was raining kind of hard, who was on his cell phone getting on the freeway, not paying attention.

*The strange little boy in Best Buy earlier today who smelled heavily of B.O. and kept running into me. A boy that small shouldn't have B.O. already, I figured his murder would benefit us both.

*The guy last night at work who paid with a hundred dollar bill for his $80 check and only left me five. I'm actually still planning on killing that guy, the wheels are already in motion.

*Finally, that guy who got married to Britney Spears just because she needs to be single again so I can still put it in her without feeling guilty. Sure, they're probably getting it annulled, but it's just to be safe.

There you have it. Now that I see it in print, I don't think that would be as interesting as people who actually did the murdering, so forget what you just read.

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