Hawaii!

Okay, I was just sitting here, minding my own business, pulling cat hairs from my urethra, when I heard American Idol on my TV. Apparently they're replaying auditions or something and they're showing the auditions from Hawaii. Now, I've never been to Hawaii, I couldn't even point it out on a map of Hawaii, but there's one thing about Hawaiians that I hate. I hate how they pronounce their state. Instead of it being three free-flowing syllables that roll off the tongue like the sounds of a thousand --no, a million--breezes, they split it up and give each syllable its own stage time. It irritates me so bad that, when I hear anybody pronounce it like that, I throw my cat off my lap in disgust. Those weird Hawaiians have their own traditions and customs that they should leave on their land-boats and not force upon us mainlanders. I'll never understand throwing a pig in the sand to cook it. That would just make it really dirty and you'd probably get bottlecaps and cigarette butts all up in the pig skin that you'd have to pick out later on. Also, I heard that Hawaiians sacrifice their first born by throwing it off a cliff and onto a surfboard.

Interesting thought of the day:
Graham Crackers were invented by Heather Graham on the set of Boogie Nights.

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