JonBenet It Ain't So!

In case you haven't heard, ten years ago a tiny swimsuit model/cowgirl/mermaid/hula dancer/Roaring 20's flapper named JonBenet Ramsey was found dead in her parent's house. Recently a man named John Mark Karr confessed to the world that it was he who was responsible, but her death was an accident.

First, let me preface this by saying that I don't believe he did it, but that doesn't mean I can't make fun of him for it.

How do you accidentally kill a little girl? I once accidentally clotheslined a six-year-old boy who was running by me in a Family Fun Center and he didn't die and I'm probably the strongest person I know.

But this guy allegedly broke into the JonBenet family HoUse (if they can just throw capitalization in the middle of a word like that, so can I) got her out of bed, and they told jokes, giggled and he accidentally hugged her to death. In his defense, little girls are made of sugar and spice. They're like tiny gingerbread men just begging to have their neck snapped.

Actually, they're already working on a movie about this whole thing, it's called Brittle Miss Sunshine.

Yeah. The whole lead up was for that joke.