Thursday, February 01, 2007

Giant Baby Haunts Vaginas' Dreams around Planet!

'Super Tonio' is the nickname given to a big-ass baby born in the Spring Break capital of the world, Cancun, Mexico. He weighed 14.5 pounds at birth and he was born fully clothed eating an Ultimate Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box.The doctors say he was born by Caesarean section, but it's not the Caesarean section many of you may be familiar with. He actually conquered Rome in the womb and took his soldiers to storm the gates of his mother's vagina. She never stood a chance.

When told of this story, women around the world cower in fear. Many recoil and grab their crotches, or maybe that's just the way I tell them, but I doubt that. I walk up to random women, hold up a picture of 'Super Tonio,' point to their zipper and say, "Imagine this inside of you." Then I point to my crotch and say, "Now this." And then I lick my lips and rub my nipples. I know it's not the nipple rubbing; every woman I've ever known has loved that and never objected to it in any way. Ever.

The doctor said that there are signs of high blood sugar. I think that became obvious when they cut the woman open to find the baby in a pool, not of amniotic fluid as one would expect, but of delicious buttercream frosting.

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