The Awkward Brief Conversationalist!

I panic. I choke. I can't do it. I've got a split second in which to reply to some stranger and I always screw it up somehow.

When I got home from work tonight, I opened the gate from my apartment parking lot only to see some red-haired fella I'd never seen before in my life walking toward me. I made eye contact because how can you not help but stare at those freakish gingers? I was holding the gate open so he could take over gate door duty on his way out and I knew what he was about to say to me. I had my response all queued up. He was going to say, "Thanks." I knew he was going to say it, so, this time, for once, I would know what to say in that fleeting moment and I wouldn't be the weird guy in the complex people run back inside their apartments and pretend to have forgotten something in order to avoid.

I didn't even have to open my mouth. All I had to do was hum a little and say, "Mmm hmm." You got it, bro. We're cool, right? Peace out.

The door was open, he took it. My mind raced and I cleared my throat a little in anticipation. His line first. Say it, dude. Say thanks.

"How's it going?"

"Mmm hmm."

FUCK!