Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Cream of Childhood!

Okay, that title sounds a lot grosser than I intended.

When I was a kid I always wanted to carry soup in a thermos to school, but I never did. It always seemed so cool to me. One lucky child who wasn't me would sit down, unscrew the top to their thermos and pull out a spoon and I fucking knew what was coming.

"What do you have there?"

"Oh, nothing. Just some soup in my Thermos instead of a normal beverage."

"Man, that sounds so good. It's delicious isn't it?"

"I don't know. I guess. Stop staring at me so much."

And then the bastard just pours the rest out when he can't finish it. That's soup, motherfucker! Don't act like it's nothing important. It is the single greatest thing one can have in their thermos that isn't pudding. But who puts pudding in a thermos? I'll tell you what. I fucking would.

I need to get a real life version of Hiding Out going on. I have no problem being Jon Cryer if it means I have access to soup or pudding any time I want. I'll bet the real Jon Cryer also can have pudding or soup whenever he wants. I wish I was Jon Cryer.

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