Now That's Down Unda!

I haven't read the story, but the title of the article in this Australian newspaper helps me to understand why there are so many alligators on that continent.

Granny Beats Off Alligator

I mean, to me and you it's, "Eww, gross, a handjob from an old lady." But if there's one type of creature on this planet that's not going to object to the leathery touch of the elderly on their genitalia, it's an alligator--and Hugh Hefner's girlfriends--ZING!

After reading that article, it says that the gator bit her in the ankle then let go. That's because, if you bite into an old person, they taste exactly like Metamucil and those nasty little individually-wrapped candies that they give you on Halloween that you immediately throw away. It's like black licorice plus poached salmon.

I'll tell you one thing, they don't taste a goddamn thing like a gazelle.