Friday, October 15, 2004


For some reason Dick Cheney and his wife, Teresa Heinz-Cheney, are mad that John Kerry called their daughter a carpet-muncher. Well, he didn't use those exact words, he said "Could the Vice-President's daughter be any more gay?" It was weird that he turned into Chandler from Friends. He continued, "I mean, seriously. She's gayer than Richard Simmons watching that new show Manhunt on Bravo while simultaneously having an orgy with Siegfried, Roy, and Wayne Brady." Then he nudged Ross and Phoebe seeking approval.

Honestly, though, it doesn't make any sense that they'd be mad unless they secretly (or not so secretly) hate the fact that their daughter enjoys the company of another vagina right next to hers. They said that it "wasn't fair" because he was doing it to turn off voters who may not like gay people. Well, if John Kerry's saying nice things about the Same-Sames (a word my friend brought to me that I'm positive will catch on like wildfire), who's to think that they're then, in turn, going to vote for him instead just because his daughters aren't gay? I mean, even if people did switch from Bush to Kerry for that reason, there are probably even more people that will switch their vote the other way just for a hope that, if times get rough, Cheney will force his daughter to release her own Girls Gone Wild 'White House' Edition. So it's all fair.

Interesting thought of the day:
A fat person walking toward you is God's way of testing your self-control.

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