Wednesday, March 16, 2005

To Not Kill a Mockingbird!

A story in the hard-hitting Disneyland Report, says that the FCC has declared the Monday Night Football ad featuring Terrell Owens (a dark) and Nicollette Sheridan (a white) as "not indecent." They also came to the conclusion that salad was "not unhealthy," and that puppies were "not not cute."

In a separate story, The Disneyland Report says that 211 fairies were killed last year because kids stopped believing in them, 195 of them were brought back to life from applause, 87 of these were then subject to death by magnifying glass and/or salt inundation, 1 rape.

Interesting thought of the day:
I hate saying words like 'lisps,' 'wasps,' 'gasps,' and other words like them because it always makes me feel like I'm telling somebody a secret. Especially when I'm telling them about the stereotypically gay flying insect that shocked me when it stung me. It's like a sewing circle, except it's me crying at the doctor's office hoping I'll get a lollipop.

2 comments:

Molly said...

You are SO not unfunny! I totally don't dislike your posts.

Molly again said...

Oh, and you can eat a puppy today anyway.