Tuesday, April 11, 2006

"How long have you been standing there?"

Every once in a while, I'm going to give myself some random sentence, and build a first-person narrative off of it. It's an idea I stole from something my friend Ryan had to do for an improv class he's taking and I think it may spawn some fun stuff. I don't want anything too specific, but if you have suggestions for starter sentences, go ahead and comment them.

How long have you been standing there? It doesn't matter. It's not like I didn't think you'd find out about this. You're a smart girl and I'm probably the smartest guy you've ever met.

So, this is the real me. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. Everybody's doing it anyway. Sure, maybe me being naked is unnecessary, but it helps me to concentrate. I don't have the constraints of clothing or whatever society would have to say about me to judge me simply based on what I'm wearing or how they "perceive" me to be.

I'm just me. This...is me. Some may say I do it because something is missing in my life--that I'm trying to fill a void. Well, who the hell are you to judge me? I'm doing something that hundreds of thousands of people do in the privacy of their own homes. I've seen people doing this in public. Maybe that's what made me want to try it, a kind of silent peer pressure. Parents do it. Some even do it in front of their kids. At least I'm not doing this in front of ours. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was thinking about getting them involved. Clothes on, of course. I'm not that much of a pervert.

No. I'm not sweating because I'm nervous. It's this; it makes me sweat. It's a side effect. Are you crying. Look, we can work through this. It's not that big of a deal. I don't need to do it every day. I can quit whenever I want, I just don't want to.

Why are you yelling at me? I don't need this shit from you, Carol. I already heard it from Jerry and a couple of guys at work. Yeah. They knew before you. Boo-fucking-hoo. You're really overreacting to this whole thing. You know, I heard rumors that the President of the United States used to dabble. No, I'm not saying that makes it okay, but--well, yeah, I am saying that that makes it okay.

I'm done talking about this. Now will you please leave? You're messing everything up. Yes. I'm going to keep doing it. It? Why do you keep calling it, "it," like it's a dirty word? Just call it what it is, Carol: it's Dance Dance Revolution.


Jimbo the Angry Clown said...

"So, you say penguins can't fly?"

damyano said...

"But it smells like sweet and sour pork!"