I'm Sporting Swedish Wood!

Last weekend I went to Ikea because I needed to pick up some furniture for my apartment. Man, that place is terrible.

For the uninitiated, Ikea is a furniture store that's like waiting in one long, poorly-decorated line for a ride at Disneyland. Except the ride at the end is just getting to watch the 55-year-old woman in front of you try to figure out where she can "Buy some Ikea."

But it's the design of the building wherein the problem lies. It's like a goddamn labyrinth. I had to fight a minotaur in the middle of housewares.

I won, but only thanks to the Golden Fleece I picked up by the Flarn Food Court.