Sunday, June 20, 2004

Heads Are Gonna Roll!

Okay, this post is going to be in bad taste to some people, so you probably shouldn't read it.

Now that those people left (good, I didn't like them anyway), it's time to address some current events again. This time, however, it's going to get as bloody as the inside of a surprised teenage girl's panties in here. That's horrible. Too bad my Back Space key doesn't work or I'd erase that.

Al-Qaeda (or however you spell it, even if I did find the right way to spell it, I can't fix it now) decided that they're going to behead people more often than reruns of "Friends" comes on. They got Nick Berg a while ago. I say, touche, Al-Qaeda. Then they got this Paul Johnson fellow. I say, it's getting kind of old, guys. Now, there's some South Korean guy that they're threatening to behead. You know, like my writing teachers have always taught me, you can only go to the well so many times until it loses its meaning and, well, it's lost its meaning. I mean, granted, it's horrible that a guy is getting his head sawed off by some dull-ass blade, but it's just not as shocking as it used to be. These Al-Qaeda guys are losing their bang. At first America was thinking, Wow, they're so crazy and primitive, and I think Al-Qaeda fed off of this reaction. Now, when I hear about another beheading, I remember that it's time to water my roses.*

*I don't have any roses; this is merely used an example to imply the frequency with which they lop people's heads off.

Anyway, to switch gears, there's a non-government-funded spaceship that's supposed to be flying into space tomorrow. Call me cynical, but I think that this means that sometime tomorrow there's going to be a news story about the first non-government-funded body to decompose while re-entering the earth's atmosphere. I hope it goes well and I hope they finally prove that there really is no such thing as outer space, it's all just a movie set like in the Truman Show, but I have a feeling that it may not go so well.

There was something else I wanted to write about, but I can't remember what it is, so you'll have to deal with my two stories both related to death and destruction. I'm a very fun person to be around. I'm like a walking circus without all of the clown make-up and cotton candy, but with all of the weird feelings involved in the men's heads when they see the children.

Interesting thought of the day:
You should never go to a place that offers surgery with discounts with coupons. Especially if that place is a Pizza Hut.

Post your comments and you could win a special prize. Or email me for a free proctology exam (well, a coupon for one).

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