Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Fuck Florida! Fuck Ohio!

I quit America.

How the hell can so many people be so dumb? I honestly can't fathom what would make somebody vote for Bush. I can't even think of anything to type. For somebody that has completely put the entire country into a shithole to actually get re-elected makes me want to press a hot iron on the taints of those that voted for him.

This is what I get for being so optimistic. That's why I'm such a pessimistic bastard all the time because I hate the feeling of being let down. And this is a bigger letdown than the time I thought that hot girl was flirting with me, only to find out she was dead.

On the brighter side, at least I'm too old to be drafted. Also, since I watched the damn news all day, I found out (was reaffirmed in my belief) that news people can all be idiots, too. Some chick on NBC was talking about the difference in votes in Pennsylvania between John Kerry and George Bush. She referred to it as his "Margarine of victory." This puts lots of fantastic images in my head. So thank you, random black lady in Pennsylvania.

Also, some old guy on CBS was being really racist and it made me laugh. Dan Rather threw out some weird saying that he said "everybody knows." He said that, "If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun." Apparently this is a huge saying with old people because the racist old man replied, "Yeah. Then he wouldn't be afraid of black snakes." Maybe he meant this in a harmless way, but all old people are racist.

As I'm typing this, John Kerry is saying that there are still votes to count in Ohio, but it's all for nothing. America is full of right-wing idiots who depend on a mythical wizard in the sky to tell them how to vote. I wish that all the states were red not because they voted republican, but because they were all on fire and the streets were flowing with blood. I'm still holding out hope on that one.

Time to go and submit a Constitutional Amendment that separates the East and West coast of the United States into their own country of rational people while we let the middle of the US destroy itself with their gay-hating, stem-cell research-fearing, black people-lynching, less-evolved-brain-having idiots. I think I'd like to call it "The delicious bread around a piece of shit sandwich" or T.D.B.A.A.P.O.S.S. for short. Or, on the other hand, we can just call ourselves The United States of Awesome. I'll be running for King next year on the platform of "Fuck those guys."

Interesting thought of the day:


Drew said...

That's the best 'interesting thought of the day' I've seen yet. I call Vice-President!

Jimbo the Angry Clown said...

I, for one, blame you for this fine mess. You couldn't leave it alone. You just had to go and say how you were sure that the people would smarten up and vote for Kerry. This is why I will not be voting for you as King of TDBAAPOSS. Or, whatever the fuck you do to make a person king.

this one girl.... said...

hey now... i must defend ohio (since i live there). abuse florida as much as you like, but ohio isn't THAT bad. we can't help it if we're confused! considering ohio was a major battleground state as well as the key to the presidential election, i think, if i were you, that i would be a little nicer to ohio (nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah)! :)