Monday, September 26, 2005

Keep Your Cock And/Or Labia In Your Panties!

Sorry, I was lazy over the weekend. I'll be writing a post today before 3 PST. When I say PST, I'm not trying to tell you a secret, it means Pacific Standard Time. For instance, if you're in California, when your clock says 3:00 and the sun is out, that's which 3 I'm talking about. If you're on the East Coast, that's probably around the time you're eating dinner. Now, I know I have people that read this in other countries like London or Asia or Hawaii, but I have no idea what the time difference is, so, my best advice is to call California (just dial (714) then whatever seven digits you want) and ask if Oprah is on. If they say "Yes" or "It's already over, honey child," then you're clear to check my weblog. If they say "Not yet, but I can't wait to see what her and that crazy Steadman do today," then you should call back later.

I'm sorry to give you such an arbitrary temporal reference, but the way I keep time is in direct correlation to when Oprah is or has been on.

I wrote this post 14 hours, 54 minutes before Oprah was on on Monday, September 26, 2005.

Interesting thought of the day:
Everybody gets a car!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So if I read it at 7 on the East coast, and you just wrote it at 3 on the West coast does that mean I'm in your future, or are you in my past?

David Amulet said...

Ahhh, we are now measuring time by the appearance of The Oprah. Another sign of the apocalypse ...

-- d.a.