Thursday, September 22, 2005

Pope Does Away With Priests!

In a shocking move, Pope Benedict XVI (I'm not sure how you pronounce XVI; I think it's German), has apparently decided that Catholicism needs no leaders other than himself because he banned gay dudes from becoming Priests.

Granted, he didn't use my exact phrasing as "dudes" is probably not in the Papal lexicon, but you get the gist. Immediately following this announcement, he hopped on his slave's back and shouted, "To yon water's edge so that I may shout out my new decree to the end of the earth! You know, where there be dragons!"

The only reason that Priests exist is because gay guys need a place to go when their Catholic guilt about their homosexuality overwhelms them so much at an early age that, instead of a life of "sin," they decide to devote their life to celibacy. That's why some of them "get their freak on" (surprisingly, IN the Papal lexicon) with young boys; they just can't hold it in anymore.

In the article, Mike Sullivan, of Catholics UNited for faiTh (or CUNT), said that allowing homosexuals in the priesthood is like putting an alcoholic in a bar. What a fucking idiot. So, because they like boys more than a friend, this overpowers their love for their god? Cock is so delicious! It tastes better than Jesus!

Priests have existed for centuries as has homosexuality (which was invented by the Atilla the Hun) and the two have coexisted and coincided for just as long. Even if Popey McBackwards says he doesn't want same-sames becoming priests, it's still going to happen. Altar boys are there as fuck-puppets; it says so in Ecclesiastes.

Interesting thought of the day:
Mortal Kombat was invented by the Mormons.

2 comments:

deleted said...

well the mormons apparently cant spell.

little.girl.blue said...

i like to lick the screen when you put up new words. and then it tastes good like sweet sweet pee pee and sugar.

did you know that if you sprinkle cinnamon on your left foot whist masturbationing you will be instructed on how to reach the fourth level of 'magic candy racers' version 4?

oh. and i think you have really sexy elbows. that me feel squishy.