Sunday, November 20, 2005

Hooray for Politics!

Maybe you heard or you didn't because you get all your news from me, but Friday night there was a vote in the House that was shot down 403-3 to withdraw the troops immediately from Iraq. I was listening to some right-wing talk radio program yesterday and the host was gloating over the fact that while Democrats may say they want the war to end, deep down they know that the Republicans are right about the war and that's why it was 403-3. The thing that irritates me the most is that people hear that dumb motherfucker talk and they think that what he's saying is absolutely true. They don't bother to find out what the actual details of the story are.

The truth is that there was a proposal put up by John Murtha, a Democrat, that had a much more thought-out plan for the withdrawal of the troops and it wasn't like the Bill that ultimately got put up by a Republican Congressman. See, the Republicans' plan was basically, "Let's just fucking leave. We'll leave so fast that all of the troops' guns will still float in mid-air for a second before they drop to the ground."

Nobody can seriously vote yes for that kind of bullshit. But, what a lot of people will hear is that the Republicans "called the Democrats' bluff" about pulling the troops out of Iraq and the Republicans TOTALLY OWNED THEM.

But, in reality, what the Republicans proposed was like the question I would ask other kids when I was younger because I was a little bastard.

"Does your mom know you're gay? Yes or no. YES OR NO ONLY."

The entire crux of the question is based on a false premise. But, the premise, to stupid fucking right-wing talk show hosts, is something that cannot be questioned.

If people voted Yes on the Bill that was proposed, they would look like they just wanted to "cut and run" to borrow a cliche from everybody who has ever talked about the War or my penchant for stabbing joggers in the park. But, if the Democrats voted No, then it would look like they were agreeing with the Republicans because, when it really comes down to it, the Republicans are right about everything--especially about how Evolution is for pussies.

Maybe this post wasn't funny, but it's just frustrating to me that a majority of people will just hear about the vote and leave it at that instead of finding out what really went on. So, I decided, with my massive audience of literally Billions per day that I reach, to educate whomever was out there about why every politician--Republican, Democrat, Independent and Whig--should have empty wrapping paper tubes shoved into their various orafices and then have lava poured into the makeshift funnels. And I'm not talking that fake stuff that they put in those lamps that Hippies like, I'm talking real fucking lava that kills Hawaiians and Darth Vader.

Interesting thought of Sunday:
Jesus died so you can watch football. Remember that.


NotCarrie said...

I agree that often people just take what they hear without really thinking about it or finding out the whole story. And it definitely happens on both "sides"...

this one girl.... said...

even when ranting you're still funny... and, you're right.