Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Pardon Like It's 1999!

Every year the President pardons a turkey as a way of showing the world that turkey's lives are more valuable than Iraqi children. And that's how things should be.

This time things were different, though; there were two turkeys. In typical GWB fashion, however, he pardoned the turkeys and, upon finding out they were retarded, re-ordered their executions.

That's how my President does it.

If we ever get a dirty, vegan Hippie as our President, I'm sure some tofurkey will be ceremonially replanted or however the hell you un-eat tofu. Melted down into candles? Boiled and made into flip flops?

In the article, it says that the two turkeys that got pardoned are now going to Disneyland. Seriously. You used to have to win a Superbowl or World Series, but now the Disney stock has fallen so drastically that all you have to do is not be eaten and you get to go? Sure, half of the Uruguayan rugby team that crashed in the Andes couldn't go, but, aside from those guys, the gates to the Happiest Place on Earth have swung wide open. First they let black people in and now this.

Interesting thought of the day:
Not many people know that Thanksgiving Eve is National Racism Day, Chink.

No comments: