Friday, September 24, 2004

Oh Mexican-y Day!

Today was the first day of my last quarter at school. The interesting thing about the first day of school is that you can tell, no matter how old people get, they always still try to come to school looking awesome and there's so much scoping out that goes on. I'm guilty of it, too. The bad part is, being a film major, there aren't really too many good looking chicks in these classes. But, I have to take the last of the Spanish series of classes since I didn't test out of it altogether (by the way, fuck the future perfect Spanish tense--I'm sorry, I mean, will you have had fucked the future perfect Spanish tense, please?). Anyway, there's a chick who had a cute back of the head in that class. I'm going to have to see if I recognize that back of the head again and try to sit closer to her next time so I can see what the front looks like.

Speaking of that Spanish class, the professor is probably the most awesome professor I've had ever. He made a joke, in Spanish, about being retarded in the first five minutes of class. Is this love? Este esta amor? Creo que si!

In another of my classes, some girl was kicking the back of my chair like somebody told her they'd give her a dollar every time she did it. She made close to $800 in an hour.

The reason I've titled this Mexican-y Day is because one of my classes that was supposed to be an experimental and avant-garde film class was, all of the sudden, a class about the portrayal of Latin people in film. Now, this being my last quarter, it's impossible for me to drop this class and still graduate, so I have to sit through ten weeks of hearing about how wrong and misrepresenting it is to have a Mexican gang stealing the stereos in Short Circuit 2. "Los Locos kick your ass. Los Locos kick your face. Los Locos kick your balls into outer spaaaace!" The toughest gangs are those that sing nursery rhymes before they commit their crimes. So, two of my four classes deal with Spanish people or the language. And, to top it off, I had some carne asada for lunch. This carne, however was more chewy than Han Solo's best friend. Ooohh, I said it. I'm not afraid to make a Star Wars pun, bitch.

But, the best thing that happened today has to have been when I was in the library reading between classes. What a fucking dork I am, you're thinking. Well, sure, the first day of class and I was already getting my reading done, but what the hell else am I supposed to do with an hour and a half and a two hour break? There's only so many times a guy can masturbate on the fourth floor in the section that holds all the National Geographics without getting caught. I wasn't going to risk getting caught on the first day.

Well, as I was reading, I hear a voice coming from behind me. This voice was quiet, yet loud enough so that I could hear it about three feet away. I turned to see what this young chap was doing, and he was reading questions aloud from his textbook. Okay, this isn't that bad. I can let this go. But, then, after he read the question, he would answer it, again out loud, and check the answer in his book. Then, when he would get it right, he would actually say, "Yes!" I want so desperately to be his friend. I should have said something to him, but I didn't want to be the reason he got an answer wrong. The reason I wanted to be his friend is because there's no way he'll ever last at school and he's going to pull a Remy from Higher Learning and shoot up the school from the top of the damn belltower.

The next ten weeks will help me fill this bastard with tales from school. I hope that, for some strange reason, a blind, deaf Eskimo ends up in one of my classes. Coincidentally, I'm going to be taking Hunting Whales Using Only Your Sense of Smell 101, so I think the odds are pretty good.

Interesting thought of the day:
People with outie belly buttons are the unicorns of the human race.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Puppies, no eat?