Thursday, January 13, 2005

I Guess I'll Name My Son Whorehouse!

A couple who met on the internet has decided to name their son...wait, I'm sorry, to have this make a little more sense, let me add in the necessary adjective. A Romanian couple who met on the internet has decided to name their son Yahoo. I'm sure the kid won't ever get made fun of by his fellow students. I mean, look at how well Yahoo Serious did for himself. Young Einstein was both a popular and critical smash hit which, apparently, garnered him enough money that he would never have to work again.

I hope this whole idea of naming your child after where or how they came to be doesn't catch on. If it does, there are going to be a lot of screwed-up kids in the world. Especially in Romania.

"Yes, hello. This is my wife, Margaret, and my son, Intheass. He's our little miracle."

"I swear to God, if you don't clean up your room, Turkey Baster, you will upset both of your mommies."

"Mrs. Johnson, hello, we're calling because your son, Glory Hole, has been acting up in class."

I respond to reader's comments:
Anonymous said...

Usually I appreciate and enjoy your writing, however, this entry is just too far gone for even me to stomach. As someone who witnessed the tsunami first hand, I really do think you've taken this too far.

Stick to what you're good at, flame bush.

I'd like for you to look up the definition of satire and/or sarcasm and write a 1500-word essay for me on what you find. It's hard to believe that you've actually understood anything I've ever written if you don't understand this. If I have to explain it any further than this, all the magic goes away. It's like watching a magician do his tricks from the side of the stage. Except, in this case, the magician is a delusional, unemployed wannabe who types in the unorthodox manner of slamming his erect penis on the spacebar between words.

Interesting thought of the day:
Sweet & Sour sauce has managed to encapsulate the dichotomy of the entire sense of taste in a tiny package. There is no Delicious & Disgusting Sauce. Actually, I lie, my famous Chocolate Milk and Bull Semen Sauce fills this void.

1 comment:

Orr said...

oh noes, turns out the reporter made up the yahoo baby naming story:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20050124/od_nm/romania_yahoo_dc&e=4&ncid=757

i heard dan rather finally got fired for this one.