Monday, January 24, 2005

It's Official! I Hate The World!

Over the weekend, Ice Cube's hilarious new romp, Are We There Yet?, shot to number 1 proving just how much millions of people in the United States need to be beaten with a pillowcase full of bowling pins.

This means that there are people that see the commercials for this movie and think, Yes. Yes! That is going to be hilarious! Ice Cube having to take care of a bunch of precocious kids? Where do I sign?

Oh, dear God. I just went to the website to try to find a picture for this article and even the website is comedy gold. Those crazy kids. Poor former gangster rapper.

The only thing that would make this type of movie better is if somebody like Vin Diesel was in a movie like...what? He is? Oh joy of joys! And it has an even better title than Are We There Yet?

That's right. Vin Diesel is The Pacifier. I mean, just look at the picture. Doesn't that seem so funny? It's this big guy and he has to take care of kids. Everybody knows that men don't take care of children. That's what women and foster homes are for.

Oh, Hollywood. If you were a woman, I'd make sweet, dirty love to you until you got up and left halfway through because I told you I could only pay in Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

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