I was at a friend's house over the weekend, and while flipping through channels, he came across some kids' gameshow. Before they went to the final round, they had a performance by a special guest. That special guest was, apparently, something the thirteen-year-old kids love: Dream Street! It's a five-piece ensemble, like a jazz band, but without all the pubic hair or talent.
Out of utter horror and, sure, maybe a little genital excitement, we watched as Dream Street took to the stage and rocked the collective mic. It was the closest thing to child pornography I've seen since I looked in that special folder on my hard drive. They were these 13-year-old kids singing a song about how they want to make your body sweat and lose control. Then they'd hump the floor and I think it got to be the most inappropriate when one of the kids sung out in three-part harmony, "Girl, I want to put my lipstick in your Cootie Control center."
I did a little investigative reporting on these guys and found a track listing of one of their CDs. This is from their CD, "Kids Don't Get Syphilis."
- Donkey Punch Delight
- It's Not Statutory If We're Both Underage
- Ball Dropping (feat. Puff Daddy & Lil Kim)
- It's Called a Fivesome
- Break! (That Hymen)
- Candy Corn Is an Aphrodisiac
- Don't Worry, Girl (Anal Sex Doesn't Count)
- Fisting You (power ballad)
- You're almost 18 (in dog years)
- Toys 'R Us Doesn't Sell These Toys
Maybe I'm being a prude, but this seems a little on the inappropriate side to me. I guess this is just a sign of my age.
Interesting thought of the day:
It is a widely known fact that women with red hair are born with an extra vagina.