Friday, August 12, 2005

Fucking Like Rabbits!

A man in Australia was arrested on the heels of the deaths of 17 rabbits and one guinea pig at one o'clock in the morning in Australia and charged with 18 counts of cruelty to animals and one count of beastiality among others.

I love that he was arrested in his office because, even though it was past midnight on what had to be a tiring day of quiet animal-fucking in his mom's basement, he is still dedicated enough to his work to be there that late. He fucked at least 18 animals to death, but still had to make sure that a loan for one of his clients went through.

That poor guinea pig. He had to see the guy coming in to the pet store every weekend picking up rabbits and was probably so happy, for once, that he wasn't one. Then, on a whim one day, the guy decided to throw a guinea pig in the mix in whatever awesome fantasy he had for that weekend. Or, maybe the store was out of rabbits because of the sudden unexpected demand for them and, since the man just needed to wrap his cock around the insides of some furry animal anus, he decided he would settle for a guinea pig this one time.

The place that helped bring this guy down was "Australia's Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals." That's why I hate a lot of British things. It sounds so smug to call yourself the Royal Society of anything unless you're a knight or a tub of Parkay has deemed it so. But, especially in this case, it just seems like it may be going a bit too far. Maybe not as far as Australia's Royal Society of Hemorrhoid Sufferers, but it's still pretty far.

The man is expected to be represented by his lawyer appointed by Australia's Royal Society of Bunny Fuckers.

Interesting thought of the day:
The semi-colon has the lowest self-esteem of all grammatical devices. The exclamation point has the highest.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just... fucking... gross.

They should pass a new law that say the only animals you're allowed to fuck is a pig that has been greased up with peanut oil and had it's asshole packed full of nitroglycerin or broken glass.

Hugs and kisses,
Agon