Friday, August 05, 2005

Chop Suey!

Thought I'd give a quick progress report on the chops. They probably won't stay because I feel like a fucking dork sporting them, but that won't stop me from thinking that, in some way, they look so badass.

Here's the right side.

I realize it's kind of dark and you can see where I totally just cut myself shaving on my jawline, but shut up. I live in a cave and am sensitive to the light; in fact, evolution is starting to take over and I'm sprouting one of those lantern things that those fish that live at the bottom of the ocean have.

Now the left.Man, I wish I had gray hair. Muttonchops look so much cooler with gray hair.

And here's the front (kind of).
I accidentally gave the camera a little eyebrow and smirk action, but I can't help but to do that when I look at a camera. I like to make it think that I'm better than it and nothing says that better than one lifted eyebrow and a smirk like I just had sex with your younger sister and you have no idea.

So, should they stay or should they go? I, for one, don't care except for the fact that, like I mentioned, muttonchops simultaneously make me feel like a dork and the Fonz. Nothing else does that except for, coincidentally, when I write something on the internet that somebody says made them laugh.

Interesting thought of the day:
A human being can imbibe their own urine seven times before it can kill them. But German people can eat each other's shit forever.


deleted said...

OHMYGOD!!! that's you!!! i always thought you were some ugly shithead. alas..
keep them muttons!

EOB said...

I too was surprised at your face. I had assumed seeing it would turn me to stone, or perhaps salt. And I was pleasantly surprised to find out you are not cross-eyed. Anyway .. I'm down with sideburns anyway so I say keep em, but maybe shorten the horizontal portion a bit. That will keep the cool, but ditch the dork.

Molly said...

Yeah, WTF!? How could you not be deformed?

My mental image of you is shattered. You don't even have a crazy look about you! It is Ted Bundy terrifying to think you could just walk around and blend in. Your face says, "I'm nice, give me your phone number," while your blog says, "Grapes are nature's anal beads."

deleted said...

i cant believe you dont look retarded.