Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Worst Thing to Happen to White People Since Emancipation!

I've done it. I've solved what was apparently the worst crime that has ever happened in the history of mankind. I know who killed Natalee Holloway.

Follow me here.

You live with a bunch of people in a house and, last night, you saw some pizza in the fridge and you ate it even though it wasn't yours. The next morning, this happens:

"Dude, did you eat my pizza?"

"What? Your pizza? No. I didn't touch it."

"Really, cause..."

"That pisses me off. I can't believe somebody would eat your pizza. Fucking shit. You just can't trust anybody anymore. Dammit! You know what? I'm going to make it my personal mission to find out who ate your pizza."

Another person from the house enters.

"Scott, did you eat his pizza? I'll bet you did, you smug motherfucker. Look at that look on his face. You fucking love pizza. You probably wouldn't think twice about it. That's why I've always hated you. I will hit you in the throat with a skateboard if I get any proof that it was you. In fact, I don't need proof. Come here."

See, because when you do something and you're lying about having done it, a lot of times, in order to defer attention from yourself, you make it a bigger deal than the person that it happened to. That's why, I can say with 100% sincerity, that I know who killed Natalee Holloway.

It was Greta Van Susteren.

I'm contemplating buying 2 domain names. I don't want to say what they are because I don't want somebody snatching it up (not that I think they're that great, but I'm just paranoid). But, it's not something that you guys suggested (though I do appreciate it and they were funny), because I decided that I didn't want something that was outwardly offensive in just name alone. I know, that doesn't sound like me, but I think the route I'm going will still work.

Now, though, I need to know if you guys know of any good domain registering places. See, I know does registration, but I was looking for something that would let me register and hide my registration info for a reasonable price. If you guys can suggest any places, I'd appreciate it.

Interesting thought of the day:
"Hardly morbidly obese" is never a compliment, no matter how much you smile when you say it.

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