Monday, August 22, 2005

It's Like Satan Took a Shit On My Soul!

You'll have to excuse my spelling and grammar on this entry. I'm fighting through tears as I type this. In fact, it may just be too difficult for me to write about at all.

But, I feel it's only right I include you guys in this important, yet terribly tragic, moment in my life. Fuck. In OUR lives.

The...Their...They finally...

Not yet. I just can't type it yet.

First, let me say that the past seven years have been awesome and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Well, I would trade them for seven more years with you instead. Why do you have to do this to us? Seven years? That's all you could give us? It's not fair. I'll change! Anything you want...

Okay, Kurt. Breathe deep. You can get through this.

I held out hope that things would get better. That you would change your mind, see the light, and decide to do what's right for you. For the country. For the world. But you couldn't do it.

That's right. The divorce between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston has been signed. Selfish motherfuckers.

I know, I wrote about this before when it was first announced when they were separating, but, to be honest, I didn't think that they would go through with it. Their love seemed too strong, too true and pure, for anything to come between. I sent hundreds of cards to both Jennifer and Brad disguised as an apology from the other in hopes that I could keep together this modern American Monarchy. There will be NO prince to take the throne now.

The world is in shambles.

I mean, when September 11th happened, I remember exactly where I was (Glory hole at the AM/PM). And, for weeks, the news coverage wouldn't stop. Now a new September 11th has been crowned: August 22nd. Except, in this case, the people who are affected by this aren't just some New Yorkers in a tall building, but the whole world. As a matter of fact, I'll bet if there is intelligent life out there and they are watching us, they are participating in the mourning ritual of Glarn Flagen. And, no, that's not a new bookshelf model from IKEA.

I hope that the 'round the clock coverage of this never stops. In fact, I would like everybody's help in signing this petition to make sure that they are never far from anyone's thoughts. Please, spread it around as much as you can. If you are a member of a message board, let them know about it. Email everybody you know and even people you don't know. Brad and Jenn affected everybody, not just you and your friends. We have to get the word out. We can't let them go without a fight. We can't.

Interesting thought of the day:
Kazaam, the film starring Shaquille O'Neal as a rapping genie, won the award in 1996 for "Movie Least Masturbated To."


Carl Click said...

I am awestruck. How can something so horrible even be fathomable?

eob said...

This is further proof that award shows favor popular opinion, and not the most deserving, or most talented. Kazaam is my all time favorite skin flick.

deleted said...

angelina jolie must die.