A guy got his body made not living anymore today when he decided to pretend that he had a bomb on an airplane. A Federal Air Marshal who was on the plane shot the guy in the jetway. That's right:
Shot in the jetway and you're to blame
Darlin', you give love a bad name
I haven't see a session of make-believe go this wrong since when I saw that mime suffocate to death who was actually trapped in a giant invisible box. Poor, Mimey.
The best part about this article is this:
After the shooting, investigators spread passengers' bags on the tarmac and let dogs sniff them for explosives, and bomb squad members blew up at least two bags.I would love to have seen the person's reaction while they watched their shit get blown up.
"Look at that, Honey. That dog is really sniffing my suitcase."
"I told you not to bring your beef jerky, Stanley. But, no."
"Listen, bitch. You know I don't go anywhere without my beef jerky. Dehydrated meats are my lifeblood, Debbie. They called the dog away anyway."
"Stanley, what's that robot doing to your bag?"
"Probably x-raying it so they can figure out why the dog is smelling it. They'll see it's the original copy of the Constitution that we put on display for the Colombian schoolchildren and they'll let it...HOLY SHIT!"
"You kept beef jerky in the same bag with the Constitution?"
The other blown-up bag was inconsequential. It only contained three newborn Colombian puppies. But, those puppies were suspected members of al-Qaeda. They would have made the most adorable terrorist attack ever.
Interesting thought of the day:
Hopscotch was originally created with the intent of giving parents early notice on whether or not their son was gay. It's 100% accurate.