Friday, December 30, 2005

My e-Hate Grows Exponentially!

There are some people that I only become aware of through random contact on the old supermation infohighway. And, as you can imagine, I learn very quickly to hate them. There is this one girl who I feel like epitomizes everything I hate about the majority of people (not just women) who are on myspace. It's all summed up in one picture.I know nothing about her other than looking at her picture here, yet I know everything about her.

  • She loves reality television, especially shows like America's Next Top Model.
  • If she lives near them, she loves to go to "The River" and "Glamis." If she doesn't live near them, she has been to their geographical equivalent in her neck of the woods at least once a year.
  • She once gave a guy a blowjob at a frat party even though she had a boyfriend. She never told her boyfriend about it because she was "so drunk" and she "couldn't be held responsible for it--you saw me, Lisa."
  • She makes out with other girls in bars so guys will pay attention to her.
  • She definitely was in a sorority, but her sorority had "all the prettiest girls in it."
  • She sits in the front of her college classes and makes sure the male professors learn her name so that if she's between a C minus and a C, he'll give her the C because she sometimes wears low-cut shirts.
  • She can't do basic subtraction when it comes to figuring out how much change she should receive when she buys her smoothie from Jamba Juice. She just takes the cashier's word for it.
  • She has hundreds of myspace friends, because it's not enough to lead on all the dorky guys who actually know her in real life, she decides to do it online as well. It wouldn't be so bad, but she makes sure to message them every once in a while using endearing phrases like "Sweetie" to make that poor guy think that she means it in a way that there's no way she actually does.
  • But the biggest problem I have with not only her, but the majority of people who exist on the planet is that nobody ever questions anything. If somebody tells them something, they believe it. I'm not just talking about religious dogma, but everything. I hate to borrow a cliche, but they are cliches; they sleepwalk through their life. They conform so that they won't be noticed. They don't want to form an original thought for fear that it will go against what other people think and they'll become the outcast. It's this kind of person that constantly looks for the outcast and points them out to the others so that they themselves aren't the outcast.
Wow, that last point kind of got away from me. I think I kind of came across as one of those bitter outcasts, though I'm actually not. I like to think that I'm not a part of that societal structure, but more an observer of it. I guess what I was just trying to say is that there are so few original thinkers out there (I'm not including myself in this category as some sort of an intellectual revolutionary) that when I see the world filling up and overflowing with essentially useless, carbon copies, hackneyed, you'd-think-it-was-a-cliche-if-it-wasn't-so-fucking-true people, that it starts to grind on me a little.

I'm such a faggot.

By the way, my favorite thing about that whole picture I posted nine pages back is the caption that she chose to put with it: "Out of control on my 22nd birthday!"

"Help! I'm out of control! I've got a hat on and it's sideways! Ahhh! Somebody line me up another Irish Car Bomb while I make out with this chick!"

Interesting thought of the day:
Chewbacca had emphysema.

3 comments:

Carl Click said...

Those damn ball caps are out of control. College kids these days are just sideways-hatting themselves into an early grave.

Buttics said...

Her boyfriend probably treats her like shit... but she loves him! And he drives a nice car.

Jim said...

That pic and caption are hilarious. What a dope.