Monday, January 16, 2006

"Drop That Zero!"

"And get you a hero!"

Sorry, I commemorate every Martin Luther King day by celebrating him for what he made possible: shit black people say in talk show audiences in the 90s.

"Kick him to the curb!"

"You went from geek to chic!"

"I think you're talking to the wrong Jenny. You should be talking to Jenny Craig not Jenny Jones! Okay?"

"Don't hate the playa, hate the game."

"Stop shooting me with that firehose!"

Sorry, I got my lists mixed up. That last one is for when the United States finally decides to celebrate James Earl Ray day. It's got a rhyme built in! That's marketing genius!

Well, I guess we could use it for Gay Day. Besides, Gay Day would probably be much better than James Earl Ray day. I'm not too comfortable with the idea of having to murder a black Civil Rights leader on James Earl Ray day (those are the rules). Gay Day will be like the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance: all gay people have to act straight and all straight people have to get their gay on. "Those are the rules, Grandma. Now lick Esther's vagina and make me believe that you like it."

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