Thursday, January 19, 2006

Toiling in Nonsensery with the Questionably Famous!

First, I was able to see what it would be like if Evander Holyfield finally decided to pursue his first love, ballroom dancing, on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. Then, thanks to Fox's Skating with Celebrities, my dream of knowing what it would be like if Willis strapped on some ice skates and finally showed the world what he was talkin' bout came to fruition.

Now, I'm pleased to announce that over the next three weeks, we (me) here at Don't Read This Weblog! are going to be having our own contest.

In Fishing with People Who Have Played Robots on Film and/or Television, four celebrities compete and fish the shit out

With lettering brought to you by the Inappropriate Font Foundation.From left to right, we have Data from "Star Trek: The Next Generation," Vicki Lawson (I don't know why she has a last name because she's a robot and, as we all know, robots don't have traditional parents, only the godless monsters who created them) from "Small Wonder," D.A.R.Y.L. (That's Data Analyzing Robot Youth Lifeform to the uninitiated) from D.A.R.Y.L., and, finally, some fellah who calls himself Optimus Prime from a television show called "The Transformers." Personally I've never heard of it, but I believe that it's about a group of robots who give people makeovers.

Each week, you, the readers, will get to cast your vote on who you believe should be kicked off of the boat. This doesn't mean that I will follow what anybody says since I anticipate about one vote each week, but I just want you to feel like you have some control even when you don't.

I have a hunch about who might win this whole thing, but that's the beauty of publicly-voted-on contests like this where what you vote has absolutely no influence on the outcome, my hunch is probably what will happen.

Now, here's a little something that I noticed while "taking" this picture. I don't want this to sway your vote (because there is a vote this week), but I noticed a glitch in one of Data's digits.I don't know what caused this to happen, but it may come out in future installments of "Fishing with People Who Have Played Robots on Film and/or Television."


Anonymous said...

Who the hell is D.A.R.Y.L? Kick his ass off the boat.

Anonymous said...

And why the shit do I always have to enter the word verification twice? Am I a jackass who ALWAYS types it wrong the first time, or is it some gay security feature of blogger?

Anonymous said...

Kick off Optimus Prime! I'm hoping for a train on the little girl in an upcoming episode! Kind of like when David sexually harassed Tami during Real World San Francisco. That bitch was laughing the entire time.

Word verified once here!

Anonymous said...

Kick D.A.R.Y.L. off

Freakazojd said...

I vote Data off, because he's the least creepy of the 3 people-bots. Creepy's entertaining, munchkins. Also, that would leave the kidlet-bots to duke it out with O.P. which would be fun. I'm anticipating some mechanical carnage there. Survival instinct something-or-another. Overall, I think it would be fucking cool if Optimus Prime took it. Go robots!

Anonymous said...

What about Johnny 5? I know it wasn't an actual actor, but somebody did that robotic voice. Does that count?

Carl Click said...

D.A.R.Y.L. has got to go. If Johnny 5 was included for his voice acting, then you would also have to include C-3PO.

Phil said...

Kick Daryl off because I've never seen the show/movie he was in.

And where the hell is Chip from Not Quite Human?

See how many more comments you get when you ask people to vote? People like to vote, ya know, as long as they don't have to get off their fat asses- although to be perfectly fair, these robots (and likely their children counterparts) are more intelligent than the folks who ran for president the last 2 terms.

Anonymous said...

What about Andrew Martin, the robot Robin Williams played in Bicentennial Man?
I vote to kick off Optimum Prime. Unless they're fishing off a ferry, Optimus Prime has no business being on a boat - he's just too damned big.