Friday, July 08, 2005

Al-Qaeda? More Like Al-Qaedon't!

I don't even think that means anything.

See, I fucking hate Al-Qaeda. Yeah. I'm going out on that limb. You may not want to come with me; the branch is pretty flimsy.

What I mean, though, is that, they're kind of saying that they're responsible for the bombings in England. Well, at least "The Secret Organization of Al-Qaeda" is taking credit for it.

First, if the name of your organization has the word "secret" in it, and then, after you commit a crime, you immediately claim responsiblity, Karl Rove must be your fucking publicist.

Second, Al-Qaeda calling itself secret is like Tom Cruise calling himself straight or sane or a good actor.

But, the reason I hate Al-Qaeda the most is because they kill 3000 Americans and, to show the British that they mean business, they kill 40 of them. 3000 Americans and 40 Brits. I know that their economy is a little stronger than ours right now, but god damn, that exchange rate is fucking harsh.

Don't get me wrong, 40 dead British people sucks, but, according to GWB, god watches over America and we got 3000 people killed. I hate to say it, because I'm such a staunch supporter of both religion and, especially, George W. Bush, but I think that god cares more about England than America. Maybe we should go to war with them now, too.

In all seriousness, I wish more British people would have gotten killed so I felt like Al-Qaeda hated them as much as they hate us. But, as it stands, I think this was a half-hearted attempt at best and was probably organized as a side project by some Al-Qaeda interns and all they're getting is some college credit and an extra 2 virgins in heaven.

Fuck you, Al-Qaeda. If you're going to hate and murder, hate and murder equally.

Interesting thought of the day:
The Hamburger Helper mascot only has four fingers because, when he was a kid, his dad (Thing from Addams Family fame) caught him masturbating in a bucket of ground beef.

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