Friday, July 01, 2005

You Taking-For-Granted Motherfuckers!

So, I knowingly write something that isn't funny and, instead of deleting it as I normally do (you don't want to know the stuff that I've thrown out--100 times worse than that last entry; one was 10,000 words, written in Aramaic, about how hilarious it is that you get a tiny bag of peanuts on airline flights), acknowledge it as punishment because you bastards haven't been commenting, and I get 3 comments?

Looks like the only way to get you fuckers to talk is to be horrible. Let this be a lesson to all of you "lurkers." I don't need you commenting on every entry, but, feel free to, occasionally, add a little something (even if it's a poorly disguised attempt at not getting me to write something awful again). I will not hesitate to do this again. Trust me. This last one was just a warning shot. I've got a novella in me about how weird vaginas look.


Spanish people just got a whole lot gayer!

As if it wasn't already "way homo" the way that they pronounce their S's, now they're letting gay Spanish people get married (to other Gay Spaniards--lucky you, Antonio Banderas!). Some people see this as a step forward but, really, Spain was voted gayest country in the world 15 years running by its peers. Though, for the past 15 years, the United States has voted for Canada, its vote has paled in comparison to those for Spain. Even France voted for Spain. That's like Richard Simmons calling Elton John a "fag" while he's blowing some dude and jerking off two others (his own "Deal-a-meal" as he calls it).

What's wrong with the United States? These Spanish people still wear capes and fight fucking bulls, yet they're forward-thinking enough to let gay people marry. We, on the other hand, are about to blow a goddamn hole in an asteroid because we can and to show outer space who the fucking man is, yet the thought of two boys kissing is "yucky."

What the fuck?

Interesting thought of the day:
Whenever anything talks on commercials that shouldn't (i.e. babies, animals, women), it is never funny or cute.


Drew said...

I would like to amend the interesting thought to say "anything talking with their mouth", because as we all know, a talking baby penis would be hilarious.

mala said...

i agree with the above poster.

EOB said...

Just busting your nuts on the Helvetica post, Kurt. Please don't turn off the funny!