Thursday, June 30, 2005

To the Mighty Who Have Fallen!

Every once in a while, it is important to pay tribute to those who have made the world a better place for everybody, but are no longer living.

The spotlight today is on Dr. James Thaddeus Helvetica. It is a sad state of affairs when Blogger offers the Verdana font, yet Helvetica is nowhere to be found. Did Rachel Verdana-Gomez ever slay a dragon while riding a genuine Hasoi skateboard? No. Did Klaus Times New Roman do anything besides steam Jewish people? Hardly. Yet they are both heavily represented in the font world.

Dr. Helvetica is the reason that gravity works the way that it does. Dr. Helvetica single-handedly overturned Communism in Soviet Russia. He is the only human being ever known to be able to take flight under nothing but the power of his own flatulence. In fact, he is the only man to have ever birthed and breastfed an entire softball team composed of Centaurs. It is truly sad that a font is what he is best known for, yet we can't even acknowledge him on a regular basis.

As a tribute, I'm going to wear a Helvetica lowercase 't' around my neck. Maybe I'll start a trend.

Interesting thought of the day:
I know this entry wasn't funny, but I'm leaving it anyway to piss you off that you had to read it. That's what you get for reading and not commenting on my last one; that one was hilarious.


Anonymous said...

if we comment on this one, will the next one be better?? :D

Anonymous said...

They can only get better from here.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Kurt. Way to end the month!

Drew said...

I don't have anything to add, I merely want to contribute to the frustration.