Friday, June 24, 2005

So Many Pictures of My Penis!

Well, blogger just added an image hosting service to their weblogs, so now I can post a lot more pictures.

Somewhere down the line, I'm going to post my penile tribute to the Presidents of the United States. It's where I dress my filthy junk up like all of the Presidents and perform a one-act play. You should see the tiny wheelchair I made for my cock FDR. It's fully functional (the wheelchair, not my dick--that stopped working in eighth grade when I put on my first jockstrap and didn't realize until after I told my friends that they could hit me as hard as they want in the balls with an aluminum bat because I was wearing a jockstrap, that it actually has to cover your balls and isn't quite as effective if you're wearing it on your head yelling, "Look at me! I'm in GATE!").

But, for now, I've decided that I've always wanted to know what it's like to be homeless and have to wear your entire wardrobe on your back all the time. And, while I couldn't fit all my clothes on my torso, I did manage to put on 12 shirts and 3 jackets.

My eyes look a little cross-eyed in the picture, but I think that just happens when you try to adapt to the lifestyle of the street urchins; you take on their traits. I also rubbed my balls against the crosswalk button for two entire cycles just minutes after this picture was taken.

Since I have such photographic freedom now, is there anything that you, yes, you, my reader, would like to see? Like I said, the penile tribute to the Presidents is already in the queue. Once I stop menstruating, I'll get right on that. Because, right now, the only ones I can faithfully do are Lincoln, JFK, and Alexander Hamilton.

Interesting thought of the day:
Casper the Friendly Ghost wasn't as friendly as some say. In fact, he has the only documented case of Tourette's Syndrome in ghosts. "Boo. Motherfucker. Graham Cracker! Cockadoodledoo! Boo!"

No comments: