Sunday, June 05, 2005

Like a Fat Girl Drinking a Diet Coke!

There are certain things in this world that you always see. The title of this article, for example, is something that's unavoidable. If you see a fat girl drinking something, you've got an 83% chance of it being a Diet Coke (7% chance of it being a shake, 10% pure melted butter--these are the ones that know they're not fooling anybody).

Another thing I always see and it bugs me more than I can possibly describe in words, heiroglyphics, or my award-winning mime act, is the girl driving the Volkswagon Jetta with her High School Graduation tassle hanging from the rear view mirror, slightly covered by the Community College parking pass for the school that she's attending until she gets her clothing line off the ground. She's the same girl who has the Tinkerbell sticker on her back window and the license plate frame that references something about being a princess ("I'm the Princess, that's why!" or "Daddy's Little Princess" or "Princess on Board" or "DVDA Princess"). She giggles a lot and right now she's seeing this guy who is "totally hot" because he wears bracelets with studs on them and he dyes his hair jet black. She has definitely shown her boobs to other people while she was drunk and she will make out with another chick if enough guys are watching. She is pretty sure that she's the best looking one of her friends but she would never admit it outright. Instead, she buys the same outfit that one of her friends has and tells that friend how many compliments she got while wearing it. "Oh, I didn't know you had this same thing. Weird!" She says slapping her friend on the arm.

Touche, annoying girl. Touche.

Interesting thought of the day:
People who fall under the Astrological sign Cancer, have a higher chance of getting cancer than those who fall under any other sign. Also, those who believe in Astrology have a 100% chance of being complete fucking idiots.

1 comment:

Carl Click said...

"DVDA Princess" Classic, just classic.