Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Giant Baby Put On Trial!

At least I'm assuming that it's a giant bearded baby I see in all the pictures on TV when they're talking about Saddam Hussein appearing in court.
Because there's no way that they would put a grown man in a cage like that unless he was Hannibal Lecter or fucking Magneto.

Maybe that's it. Saddam Hussein is a superhero and that's why they've surrounded him with this barrier; the positively charged ions produced by the fence completely nullify his powers. Or something. One of his highly-noted special powers is making everybody in the world believe he had Weapons of Mass Destruction. It was a goddamn Jedi mind trick.

He's an X-man and a Sith Lord all rolled into one. Motherfucker. No wonder it was so hard to find him. Osama Bin Laden must be like a real-life version of Harry Potter only taller and much less gay then because even Saddam Hussein and all his infinite fucking powers can't find Osama. The Iraqi Wondertwins were on the case, but they couldn't really do much because they both can only transform into sand.

"Wondertwin powers activate. Form of--you guessed it--some fucking dirt."

I can't wait to see what kind of contraption they'll put Osama in if they're ever able to actually put him on trial. I'm hoping it's a replica of the WonderWheel from The Toy that they handcuff him to and just roll him wherever they want him to go.

Interesting thought of the day:
The ever-malleable (and ever-present in this entry) word "fuck" comes from Medieval Times (not "Dinner and Tournament," but the actual time period) when the great wizard Gargamel banished the term "smurf" from his land.

1 comment:

David Amulet said...

My vote for Usama Bin Laden's defendent cage: the overlapping luminous rings that encircled General Zod and his evil cohorts in "Superman II: Electric Boogaloo."

Except that Bin Ladin's magic lasso rings will deliver electric shocks to his genitals as many times per hour as there are deaths by his direct or indirect hand. A few thousand per hour, then.

I know I'm being easy on the guy. I'm soft today.

-- d.a.