SNL Only Does It To Me Because I Deserve It!

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Apparently I'm insane because I keep expecting Saturday Night Live to actually be funny even though, for the past three years, it really hasn't been.

It's still funnier than MadTV, but watching a puppy drown in the flood waters of Hurricane Katrina is funnier than MadTV. You'd think that, as a season premiere, when writers have the entire summer to come up with something funny, that at least the first episode would be good. Admittedly, I laughed at one or two sketches, but, for the most part, it was terrible.

The Morgan Stanley commercial spoof they did was funny. But all of that delicious goodness was wiped away by the rest of the show, especially when I saw Horatio Sanz sitting next to Amy Poehler for Weekend Update. Don't get me wrong, I love Amy Poehler and would probably give up my vow of not having children if she wanted to be the father of my babies, but watching Horatio Sanz try to read a joke from a TelePrompTer is like that uncomfortable moment in class when the teacher would call on the kid with the bad stutter to read a paragraph from Superfudge. You're reading to yourself along with him, not really paying attention to what he's saying, but just hoping that, in some way, since you're reading along with him, it will make him hurry up and put you out of your misery. You're screaming in your head: "I already finished that sentence twice! What the fuck is taking him so long?"

I completely lose track of what Horatio Sanz is saying because I'm too busy wondering why they put him in glasses. It's like putting a tuxedo on a retarded kid and sending him to Prom. You're not fooling anybody.

Of course, though, I'll still watch every episode this season since it takes exactly a week for me to get over how awful the show was the week before.

"Maybe this week it will be different. This host should be interesting. They were just lazy after the summer break. What? No, SNL didn't do this to me. I fell down the stairs."

Pop Quiz of the Day (Answer Sheet):
Teddy Roosevelt is one of only two presidents to always sit down when he peed. Can you guess the other one?

While Geena Davis was a good guess, the answer is actually James K. Polk. Geena Davis, in order to feel like an equal to all of her predecessors, stands up when she pees and uses the fat catcher from the George Foreman Grill to funnel her urine into the toilet. Ahh, technology!